Gender and Stereotypes

We live in a world of gender stereotypes.  We are surrounded by messages about how different men and women are and how these differences resulted to their failure as a communicator, caregiver, or critical thinker. It is a common practice to predict someone’s abilities and interests simply based on knowing if it’s a girl or a boy.  The differences between individual girl and boy are greater that the average girl or average boy, yet we tend to generalize them based on their gender.  For instance one of the common myths or gender stereotype in our society and in our school system is that girls are not good at math.  Girls are often associated with being emotional and boys are more logical with critical thinking and can do math better than girls.  As a result, we usually have low expectation for girls and believe girls are inferior at math due to biological basis for gender stereotype.  Our society including the media and particularly television programming and commercials are geared to promote such stereotypes that are setting standard for our children and young women.  For example, the sale of diet plans, cosmetics, fashion, and relationship tips contribute to billion-dollar industry that is telling women how they should look and act promoting a stereotypical and unobtainable ideal of living.

Children are especially susceptible to these stereotypes and may believe the false messages they see in the media and hear at school or playgrounds. Talking to our children and discussing openly about what the gender myths are and why they exist is essential.  It is our responsibilities as parents or educators to explain that historical belief to traditional gender roles, such as women solely being responsible for housework and child rearing, are based on traditional roles and societal expectations and not on biological differences. Remember that girls are not the only ones affected by gender stereotypes. Boys are also hurt by the false stereotypes and expectation that are set for them and if they break gender stereotypes, they would be subject to labeling and bullying.

why you are always attracting the wrong kind of people?

It is important to know that your level of self-esteem affects who you will attract and select as your partner. Studies show that people tend to be in relationships with partners who share similar feelings about intimacy and companionship. Sadly, relations between two people with low self esteem rarely end well; they are usually shorter and less fulfilling.
Couples who suffer from low self-esteem in general have lower standards when it comes to love and happiness. Their relationships have less trust and more conflict and differences. They constantly put themselves and each other down and this can have a dramatic effect on their relationship.
It is difficult for people with low self-esteem to love themselves fully and their self-worth is usually dependent on each other’s opinions. When we depend on others for validation we become vulnerable and overly critical of ourselves. Alternatively, we cater to our partner and neglect our own needs and happiness because we feel we are unable to give or receive love and respect.
In most cases, low self-esteem is also associated with other issues such as anxiety and depression. In this situation people tend to be more pessimistic about themselves, their partner and their future. Basically, they will lose their abilities to open themselves to each other, express their feeling and share their experiences.
The good news is that enhancing your self esteem will improve your relationships. The first step to achieve higher self-esteem is to evaluate your present relationships. It is important to learn who makes you feel great about yourself and who puts you down. Explore your own interests; know where you stand on important values in life and surround yourself with people that share the same values as you. The second step is to control your thoughts and stop self criticizing. Pay attention to your feelings and replace criticism and negativities with positive thinking. Trust your intuition and become more assertive when making decisions particularly when choosing a partner or dating. Boosting your self-esteem is hard work, but once you view yourself as a confident person and perceive yourself as worthy your relationships will automatically improve.

Life Balance

Life balance
Finding balance in today's world of work and personal life is not a simple task. We are not living in a traditional life where women would stay home and care for their families. More than ever, Canadian women play many different roles in all aspects of their lives. They are workers, parents, spouses, friends, caregivers, or volunteers in their communities. Not to mention they have to take care of their own physical and mental well-being.

The demand and pressure at home and at work make it very challenging for women to find and maintain a life balance. Consequently, most women juggle between the two responsibilities without taking time off.
How to create life balance?
Life balance does not mean an equal number of hours spent for each of our various roles. There is no perfect one answer; life balance is different for each of us because we have different priorities and different lives.

Here are some suggestions to help you create harmony, reduce stress and create work-life balance
At Home:
Keep a log;
pay attention to day to day activities that are not necessary or could easily be delegated.

Make a priority list;
don't overwhelm yourself with everything on your list. Start with the most important item and make you way through the list.

Manage your time;
organize household tasks efficiently. A weekly family calendar with important dates and daily list will help you avoid deadline and additional stress.

Reserve one night a week for fun and recreation;
choose a fun activity that the whole family will enjoy.
Leave work at work;
turn off your cell phone and put away your laptop computer.

Nurture yourself;
take care of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual need before reaching for your life balance.
Get enough sleep;
sleep-deprivation is stressful and potentially dangerous.

Seek professional Help;
if your life is a chaos and you feel extremely overwhelmed, talk with a professional.

At work:


Learn to say no;
it is okay to say no! Doing things out of guilt or obligations, create more stress and false expectation at work.

Take your days off;
take advantage of your days off, make time to enjoy yourself.

Create a support system;
talk to your co-workers during stressful times, let them assist you when need their support.

Have boundaries;
if you hope to move up the career ladder, you may find yourself working more than 40 hours a week to achieve and exceed employer expectations. Be clear and have healthy boundaries.